Lots of stuff crammed into one entry.

Sneaky cops. They impress me. The stupid person I watched get snagged Saturday night fills me with wonder at the stupidity of some drivers. I’m going 70 (in a 65). A cop zips by me at 80, 85 and pulls into the fast lane. S/he has to hit the brakes. Three times. The car causing the braking never even pretended to move over. No signal, no nothing. I can imagine the driver’s thought was, I’m going 70 in a 65, that’s fast enough to be in the fast lane, asshole can pass me. I marvel at the rudeness and stupidity that made them choose to do that late, late on a Saturday night when there were lots of lane choices (and cop cars itching to catch drunk drivers and idiots going too slow in the fast lane – because that isn’t a dead give away or anything). As I imagine it, the irritated cop pulled them over. Didn’t even follow them the typical mile the police around here give you to slow down and move over. The traffic cops here have a bad reputation, but I’ve watched them follow someone going 75 in a 65 zone and they kept going when the person slowed down and moved into a slower lane. It can’t possibly be worth their time to bust you for 5-10 miles over when there are hooligans in suped-up Civics racing at 95 in any open lane. My support is with the police. It can be a crap, frightening job and I’m glad someone has the fortitude to do it.

Saturday night we gathered at the Angel, a pub, to celebrate H. and I’s birthday. It was pleasant, but a little difficult for me. The grey sponge has settled in for what I believe will be a long visit; always there, under the surface, influencing everything. Nothing is satisfying because you wonder if you were to short with that person, too unkind to this person. If you didn’t give that person enough attention because you really do think they are wonderful and you don’t want them to think otherwise. You think your words were too harsh, too hateful, too caustic. All the while having an inkling that maybe it’s all in your head, you’re not a rude, hateful bitch, but just yourself as you typically are. I don’t function well in this place. It is more than just the abrupt job change, that was only the catalyst. This has been coming on for a while.

On the job front, sent my resume to the legal department of a t.v. network and the immigration practice of a nationwide law firm. Also sent one to a local university and two to a major broadcasting company. The law firm I know is in need of folks because two of their paralegals left for law school. I wanted to get away from this field, but they would pay well and I can’t not go to an interview if called. A friend of mine works there and says I’d be fine, I could fit in to the culture. It’s not the culture that worries me, but the billable hours.

Well, I've now gotten six resumes and cover letters out. It is a small number, but a good start for me. I've had two quick narrowing-the-field phone calls; too bad I'm not impressive on the phone. I sound like a little kid and I can't read the person's body language so I am likely too honest or phrasing information in a way that is unwise. So. I'll continue to look for jobs that I would like. I've figured out that I can comfortably look until October. In late November, I'll have to start either working or collecting unemployment. I'll head out to some places and pick up applications (Starbucks, bookstores, etc.) in the hope that they would hire me at least for part-time.

Started knitting a small bag for A. Hmm, I don’t think she reads this… if she does, ha, now you know! A. saw one I did and said how much she liked it, so I gave her the pattern. At the same meeting, I had offered to make one for another friend because she doesn’t knit and I think A. was a little hurt. I hate that because she’s wonderful. I shall try to finish her bag today so that I can give it to her at lunch tomorrow. It’s red and two shades of orange. She’s Dutch, so I thought the orange was fitting. It’s a token, really, but I think she’ll be pleased. I like it.

Off to clean and knit. Keep sending me those good vibes. The windows are open so they’ll just breeze right in.