Driving in to work this morning I had an epiphany. Nothing glorious, no feelings of divinity. But I was driving along, with Jeff Buckley serenading me in his weirdly compelling and angst-ridden way, and I saw through the crap. Something I should have seized on sooner, but it didn’t occur to me before this morning – I’ve been living in a state of flux for too long. The toll of not knowing where I will be professionally or physically after August is this roller coaster ride of mental instability. I’m not prone to existential crises, but I thought for certain I was slipping into one.
I’m better now – even since this morning. I will come up with a timetable. When all debt must be gone, when to make changes at work, when to move – either out or to another locale. It’s time for great change. A trip to Minnesota will provide impetus. I am in love with that place.
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