This past week I have felt myself boring. I sit down to write an entry and it bores me. I can’t finish any of my attempts. They sit there in the draft box, mocking me. So, with antibiotics coursing through my veins, I try again. I think I should have more success; I feel more myself.
Strep throat. I went to the doc in a box last night. A pleasant experience – perhaps the most pleasant doctor’s visit I’ve had and I didn’t even see the doctor. I expected a long wait, but was there just under an hour before a nurse called me in to get my history. She was lovely – daughter named Amber, boyfriend that bought her a lovely ring with an amber stone, she’s going to be keeping him. The physician’s assistant came in, listened to my breathing and symptoms, swabbed my tonsil and was off. The worst part was being subjected to some ER true stories show on the waiting room t.v. Uck. Gorings, children choking almost to death, 23-year-olds squashing their insides in skiing accidents… not my choice for entertaining television.
Ah! CSI is on in 45 minutes! I am inexplicably (and thankfully) cured of my Survivor addiction, but Thurdays still brings the balm of CSI… may it play forever.
My strep. So odd. I think I may have had it as early as last Friday, but my throat never really hurt and I only had a touch of fever for a bit on Friday. I went to the doc in the box because my tonsils were swollen for the third day in a row. I think I may have had strep last year, in France. When I was abjectly miserable and still having to climb, what was it, 8 million stairs to my hotel room in Lille. There can be complications from untreated strep, but it will also go away on it’s own in about a week. I do feel awful about having been contagious and at work this week. I stayed out today, let the antibiotics get a good solid hold on things before I go back. Probably tomorrow, though part of me wants to stay out foreeeeeever.
Yup. The unemployment bug has bitten again. Without the travel under-bug; the simple 'not wanting to put up with the complexities of an office' bug. Someone please find me a suitable job. I’ve been unable to do this for myself and I turn to y’all. It doesn’t have to pay what I make now (obviously, as I’d like it to be a 40 hour a week gig), but it must allow for personal travel, some flexibility in schedule, and have relatively low drama levels. Aside from those, I’ve no idea what I want in my job.
What is it about my current job that’s getting me down? Putting aside the factors of living in a hotel, in a concrete suburban wasteland, in a state as red in politics as they come, having no close friends or family near, having to share a car, having gained 4 pounds while I’m here -- what is it that’s getting me down? One day a week off, upper management that plays things close to the chest and doesn’t share information, rather tosses it at you as an afterthought lance. My current tasks are menial (despite being a co-lead of my new team, I’m in a position of little power to effect good for them and the past two weeks I’ve been feeling poorly both physically and mentally and have done no good for my team at all).
You know, there’s really nothing so much worse about this job than any other I’ve had. I’m like the man on his sixth divorce asking 'what is it with women' – it’s me, not the jobs. I’m not satisfied. I want more, but with no clue as to what.
Hmph. It’s me. Let’s hope I can remember that when I get to work tomorrow and try to keep a more positive attitude. At least until I have to run away. I’ve no idea when that will be. I was thinking Christmas, but this gig could potentially (depending on my keeping myself somewhat in favor with management) last until the first week of March. Good money, leadership experience. My car partner is a devout gym-goer – Monday and Wednesday we will go to the gym and that’s good for me. Get rid of these four pounds plus. There are some interesting folks at work, folks I will miss being able to see. Who knows. If I get my mental act together, I might be able to stick it out.
Wow. Amazing how positive I can be after a day out of work and not feeling like I’ve had all the energy sucked out of me. I’m like a recovering hypochondriac – I won’t go to the doctor because I’m certain it’s my being paranoid and I really am sick. I’m better now. Beeetttteeeer. Almost time for CSI.
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